So empty I want to throw it up.

As when I'm in love

Too sudden; too fierce, too quick

in the mist of it. Stuck in the 

front of it. Obsessed with the delicate

way it might fall when you breathe too 

much in all at once. Too strong when you want 

it to go it will not stay apart

of your reflection if 

you stare too long

it passes

 like a shadowy space in a dark room with a slightly 

open door. When you want more 

it takes away your free 

will it takes away your true

self ish ness. 

In the tomb nothing is large

Everything fits

carefully, precisely

it dissolves, making space

making room

letting go

to pieces 

to amber

Thank god for depression I can understand. Feelings I know how to feel

To be sore and damp

cryptic blood, still blood, dripping from my eyes
behind my eyes
pain
Still silent through the screeching and smashing
only staring; wondering how to stop it
but not trying
To be fine, but not hoping
I'll be fine but not striving
Walking through streets and worry
shushing care and feeling
hushing woe and wonder
nothing inspiring
nothing too taxing
nothing to die for
no maryter, no murder, no wish
but not praying