My body slowly dissolving
into a cloud rapped by the wind
swirling around you
a ghost that can't touch you
howling and blowing and screaming
Nothing but the weather

Cassiopeia

Her eyes smile at mine
   A reflection of what love with her would be
Dancing alone in my room
I'd hum happily about how miserable we are
The soothing misery in our bones
Sighing us to sleep
She is not solid and promises she is Cassiopeia
She promises to destroy me

I dance alone in my room
Happy with a miserable love
Waiting to be destroyed

I see myself in dead poets
The ones who threw themselves into the ocean
who burned themselves alive
who committed themselves to the sharpest loneliness


I see myself in sad eyes the torment they understand
The crippling that comes from hope

For you my heart tried to sing before it learned to speak

I will never admit that I don't want to go to the movies with him alone because I am afraid another died and he would whisper " don't let it ruin the movie."

Kiss me because you must

Never kiss me hello.
As a Friend, human, you can say hello
Stop habitual affection.
No small talk kissing.

Kiss me to communicate something more
Most often kiss me because you have to
Kiss me as if you couldn't possibly do anything else
If you simply need to kiss me, kiss me

Kisses that meant so much, I forgot them

An age like 12, I saw
Dangerous already, young and reckless; before.
Soul mates, missed connection
I fell in love with his whole family
to avoid
Bursts of confections, I have always loved you, always
Whiskey and weed accomplish dreams, as night mares.
I keep cutting my heart to keep bleeding, keep my soul open
I trust misery

"Thanks for being a friend."
"Always."

Silent. I scream, silent.

Maybe next tine I learn how to keep you

Instead of light through the fence post 

I'll have you in my room, bright and undiminishing 

The stardust i've captured tiny and priceless 

glinting moments of almost

a fluttering kiss, a feeling

Small sparks, 

what did i miss?

I can't keep my fire alive