Now it is Thursday, motherfuckers!!

haha... I have anger.

I recognize

I believe that if I've decided that I'm going to not care, and I have said I will not miss you that I get to not miss you. And I'll keep on believing that. Even when I'm miserable, and crazy, and clearly missing you I will simply be confused and wonder what is wrong with me. Because I decided that this wasn't going to hurt. so what's all this random not related to anything pain from?

No, you fucking don't know.

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............

That's the exact extent of my ability to tell you how I feel. Can't do it. matter of fact it is more likely that the next time I see you that instead of telling you how I feel, which is what I'll be basically trying to do, my brain will mistake the anxiety and frustration for an attack and I'll beat the crap out of you. Because.. that is easier. And I can picture that in my head. Yep. And I fucking hate you today. So that's something.


It is still Wednesday for anyone who is trying to keep track of such things.

The first day of the rest of them

I keep pushing "the first day" back one. It should have been yesterday. Today still made sense too. But now it'll have to be tomorrow. Which still works too. What am I even talking about? I dunno man. Does it matter? 

Pffffff. 

This is for me, bitch

I dunno why I'm sad. And I keep acting like I'm so angry. Life is good you know. I've got a great job. I might have college paid for. I've got plans I'm mostly following though on. Ya know?!

I just realized today that I do something that's weird and it bugs me. Like lots of things.. But I casually talk to people I don't really know about things I would never talk to people I really do know about. Could you psychoanalyze that for me real quick? I don't want to. and I don't like it.

God even my shrink doesn't talk to me anymore.

haha I've got things figured out.

right.

O and congrats on not having a melt down on your birthday and not spending too much money when you went shopping on impulse. Congratulations, you're an adult.

Update

Not only, Lindsay, did you not do any of your fake plans to change this week you didn't do your real plan either. You made the file clerk cry again!While it's not your fault that he is a repressed gay Mormon, you didn't have to ditch him just because he was talking too much about his opinion on Government involvement in Corporations. Stop ditching people, it's rude. You don't get to walk around like it's your story and no one else matters. Act like you care at least. Stop being such a bitch. Call your friends back, write your missionary friends, and stop drinking coffee or your teeth will turn brown. Also you're not fooling anyone with your "no more dairy" shit. I saw you put that cheese on your salad tonight. Wake up and run on the treadmill tomorrow. Stop acting fat.