Create

I just want to ask you if you remember the story I told you. A made up parable about an old man and some tasks? I can't remember if I made it up, if it was even clever and I want to be reminded. It's the last time I remember being creative and I need to know if it was mine. If I came up with it maybe  I can relearn that ability. The last time you gave me any good advice you asked me to never stop writing. I haven't written a real world since. I can't hear the music in my words and lack the sense of pleasure you need to make sentences harmonize. Everything has been too bland. When I lost my virginity I was told I was no longer special. "Welcome to the world, you're are no better than the worst just like anybody." Sometimes I let the thought that I gave away my art then too cross my mind. I could no longer create worthy things  because I chose to give away what made my value. I worry this and wonder if I can be a born again creative. Listening to classical music and praying to literature and art. I want to know if my words sound the same to the ones who would know. Is my voice hollow. I try to find something to grasp and find emptiness. I want to know if this is something I can fix.